In an email exchange with friends about the misery of parenting, I was quick to point out the things no one ever tells soon-to-be parents about parenting. Things like catching your kid's vomit so it doesn't get all over everything in site and cleaning up potty accidents--I know this list was longer, but I'm not recalling it all now.
One friend replied, "Hey! Sounds like a typical weekend out with my friends!" It was perfect!
And it reminded me of this quotation from Johnny Depp:
"[My son's] a hellcat, boy, he's something. The best training you can have for toddlers is having spent a number of years hanging out with drunks. Helping them walk, cleaning up their vomit, putting ice on their head when they fall and smack it on the table; the uncontrollable rage and tears and joy all in, like, ten seconds. He's just a cool little drunk. "(2003) http://www.deppimpact.com/quotes.html
Thank you, Johnny. Couldn't have said it better myself! It's so true!!!!
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Tattoo Material?
I LOVE WICKET!!!!
very artistic, 08/30/07 age 4
If you know my mom, you know why this is so great!
Another great one in honor of Mom!
Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them!
This is the image from Baby Girl's Valentine's Day card!
Kerrfunk took this photo
Rudy in one of his favorite spots
There's no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast!
Sharing my eclectic collection with you.
Title of My Book
Maybe There Will Be Cake
Shirley's Smiley Faces
Tattoo Material?
Lunch Dates
- Ali Wong
- Charlie Day
- Christopher Hitchens
- Freddie Mercury
- Jackson Galaxy
- Judge Judy
- Karl Pilkington
- Natasha Leggero
- Retta
- Robin Williams
- Ryan Reynolds
- Samuel L. Jackson
- Snoop Dogg (& Martha Stewart, together)
- Steve Buscemi
- Tig Notaro
- Tommy Lee Jones
- Whose Line Cast
Some Fun Sayings
- People are always comparing Freddie Mercury to god. I know he's done some good shit but he's certainly no Freddie Mercury.
- A party without cake is just a meeting.
- Never hold a grudge. If you do, you are allowing someone you don't like to live in your head rent free! ~Anonymous
- While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. ~Groucho Marx
- Not only is my short-term memory horrible, but so is my short-term memory.
- Lord, give me the coffee to change the things I can change, and wine to accept the things I can't.
- Worry is a way of letting God know you're paying attention. ~Frankie Heck from The Middle 2/20/2013
- There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
- The federal government is harder to figure out than women. ~T Frizz
- I am not a pessimist. I am an optimist with all the facts.
- My glass is half empty....if you're going to round up. ~Katie Grace Carpenter
- The wind blew. The dust flew. And in walked Logan!
- Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? And be better off than you are? ~Bing and Frank
- I'll put your lights out. ~Chicago Musical
- You're a real gang of laughs.
- Holy Smokes!
- For Pete's sake!
- I'm not depressed, I'm married. There's a difference. ~J$ from ACECO
- There are friends who will help you move, and there are friends who will help you move the dead bodies. ~J$ from ACECO
- Celebrate, we will, for life is short but sweet for certain. ~DMB
- Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. ~Ferris Bueller
- I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun. ~Billy Joel
- Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
- I never make stupid mistakes; only very, very clever ones. ~John Peel
- Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again? ~A.A. Milne
- Luck favors the prepared. ~Edna "E" Mode from The Incredibles
- Beauty fades. Dumb is forever. ~Judge Judy
- Life is not like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today WILL burn your ass tomorrow.
- If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber. ~Albert Einstein
- The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. ~MME. De Stael
- A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty. ~Rudyard Kipling
- One learns in life to keep silent and draw one's own confusions. ~ Cornelia Otis Skinner
- It's a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothin' without a woman or a girl. ~James Brown
- Maybe this world is another planet's hell. ~Aldous Huxley
- If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. ~Florynce Kennedy
- Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. ~John F. Kennedy
- I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them. ~Jimmy Hoffa
- Tell the truth and run. ~Yugoslavian Proverb
- If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. ~Alice Roosevelt Longworth
- I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. ~Dorothy Parker
- I would have made a good pope. ~Richard Nixon
- I married beneath me. All women do. ~Nancy, Lady Astor
- If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
- The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. ~Paul Fix
- I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. ~Woody Allen
- I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time
- When I'm good I'm good. When I'm bad I'm BETTER!
- Living with a saint is more grueling than being one. ~Robert Neville
- Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.
- I feel a sin coming on.
- Time flies when you are having rum.
- The day God created the cat He didn't do another thing except sit down and smile.
- Every time I say the word DIET I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
- I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off!
- Age improves with wine.
- A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
- Motherhood....God's way of saying, "You like sex, do ya??" ~Maxine
- Thoughts of divorce, never. Homicide, often. **don't worry, i'm not going to kill my husband**
- Kissing my mind goodbye is not as fun as kissing a cute boy.
- At what point lay dishonesty: wanting or doing.
- Be careful. If you can't be careful, be good. If you can't be good, name it after me!
- There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.
- How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards.
- Be yourself--everyone else is taken.
- Wine makes everyone hopeful. ~Aristotle
Words
- Substitutionary Atonement
- Knuckle Up
- Scoundrel
- Scram
- Old Head(s)
- Grit (on) e.g. Nails on a chalkboard grit on me.
- Eye Hussling
- Crescive Bond
- Apoplexy
- Sterling Human Being-throughly excellent
Search Terms
- Defensive Pessimism
- Filigree
- Flourish
- Retro
- Vintage
My Sterling Kerrfunk
Hershey Chocolate World Characters Pre-2012
My Lunchbox from 1983+
I LOVE WICKET!!!!
Thermos to lunchbox
Baby Girl's Rudy
very artistic, 08/30/07 age 4
Love Ya Fruitcake Shirley
If you know my mom, you know why this is so great!
Crazy Shirley's, Belvedere Inn, Lancaster
Another great one in honor of Mom!
My Smiley
My Hearts
Marie Knows...
Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them!
Gotta Love Cloister Carwash!
Rudy as Queen
This is the image from Baby Girl's Valentine's Day card!
Angel Baby Girl
We've become Phanatics
Rafiki's Simba
Queen Frostine
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- Lily Allen at Electric Factory
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West VA isms
"I reckon." (People really do say this....not just on TV. Heard it more in my life in 2-1/2 months than ever!)
Nice mixture of east coast, midwest, and the south. I can find Creamette brand pasta (midwest), Herr's and Utz snacks (east coast), and some southern brands that I don't know yet (Mayfield ice cream?).
There are big, beautiful ferns and outdoor ceiling fans on the big, beautiful, wrap-around porches.
Pansies lasting all winter in the landscaping.
Pop or soda-pop.
Buggy = shopping cart.
Halloween is a BIG party! Most fun I've ever had on Halloween!
Say mortuary instead of funeral home.
PA isms
- Sprinkles are called jimmies out east.
- PA requires car inspection.
- Godfather's pizza can be found at some Hess Gas Stations in PA. I know of two stations that have it. I tried it and it was AWFUL...nuthin' like the REAL stuff ;-)
- Playing quiots (google it) out east is to playing horsehoes in midwest.
- No school on the Monday after Thanksgiving for first day of hunting season in PA.
- Hy-Vee vs. Giant
- Kum & Go vs. Wawa
- East coast spreads cinders on the pavement during snow vs. sand or salt.
- Baked oatmeal is a PA thing. Maybe even PA Dutch. It's oatmeal mixed with egg, some baking powder, and spices. Then it's baked. Good served with milk poured over top.
- In the midwest, people have garage sales. Out east, they're called yard sales. Guess it's cause most people do have garages when they have a house in the mid-west. Out east, the row houses don't have garages. Or, if they do, it's located out back...not very convenient for a sale.
- McDonald's serves chocolate soft serve ice cream in the midwest. Not out here. Only vanilla. No twist cones. Rita's Italian Ice has twist cones (custard) and you can get Turkey Hill soft serve, which does include chocolate or twist, at very limited locations.
- Tomato Pie out east. It's pizza without the cheese or any toppings, served cold. Think crust and sauce only.
- Pizza places leave pizza out under the glass case and warm up your slice when you order, in the east.
- TastyKakes, Yuengling, Herr's all PA brands not heard in midwest.
- Midwesterners call the marsh growing plant cat-tails. PA = cat o' nine tails.
- Potato Filling and Bread Filling = something PA Dutchy for Thanksgiving....different than stuffing, I guess.
- Yous = you guys or y'all.
- Midwest says "bun" as in "hot dog bun." East Coast says "roll."
- Hoagies and Grinders...In the midwest, "sub" is the blanket term for what Philly's east coast calls a hoagie, zep, po' boy, and grinder (this one is toasted).
- Alcohol on east coast only sold at Wine/Spirit store or Beer distributor. Throwback to Puritan days, I guess.
- All = gone/finished. "The ice cream is all." (period, that's it, gone).
- Shoo-fly Pie and Whoopie Pie (PA Dutch items).
- Barbeque = Sloppy Joe or Maid Rite (loose meat sandwich).
- Grex = whiney, complain
- Wrutch = wiggly, usually toddlers are wrutchy
- Soda instead of pop
- A while = now "I'll get your drinks a while."
- Macadem = blacktop
- Sliding board = slide on swingset
- Sweeper = vacuum cleaner
- It's CLOSE outside = very humid outside
- Food store = grocery store
- Aside = beside "Come sit aside of me."
- Hoss = someone who is strong
- Catty-corner instead of kitty-corner
- HairS cut instead of haircut
- LEAVE me know instead of LET me know.
- Bed clothes = bed linens
- Sandtart cookies are essentially thin sugar cookies.
- A PA high schooler was unfamilar with "hash it out" for midwestern "talk it over."
NYE in NYC 2008 slideshow by sweetpeabart *note, some distortion from original may occur*
Baby Girl...also known as...things she's been called
- Sas-squashi
- Hershey
- Squashi
- Zsa-Zsa
- Sausage
- Versace
- Slushi
Sweet Sleeping Baby Girl
Kerrfunk took this photo
festastuff.com
How many sweetpeabarts are there? ONE outta be enough, wouldn't you agree?!?!?
Sweetpeabart Zazzle Account...check out my designs!
The Drawer Kitty
Rudy in one of his favorite spots
Rudy-Toot-Toot
There's no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast!
Orange Tabby! Daw!
3 comments:
Yay Johnny- I agree. Our little maniac has been insane this weekend. We were seriously thinking about going to Nina's house, sitting him on the porch, ringing the bell and running like hell, but it was just too cold to risk it. Oi! So-- also just a thought about the fast food stuff- if that is all it takes to send them to obesity land (a few "chicken" nuggets and a french fry or two) then Jamie would be huge rather than a petite, healthy runner girl who once in a while like the mc'ds or taco hell. Scott and i just can't get into a knot about that considering all of the evils of life. Eat veggies when you can- excercise often- and once in a while- let the kid eat junk. they'll have to learn moderation at some point (or that'll be ugly when they go hog wild later) That's what I think anyhow -- but then again- I love you and hope you won't have to sneak around to satisfy a french fry habit! Can't wait to talk to you in person... we need some girls only time too!
Gotta love those PRESSED PARTS (chx nuggets)!!!!!!!!!!
In defense of the other parent of the household, "once in a while eat the mc'ds or taco hell... Eat veggies when you can- excercise often- and once in a while- let the kid eat junk." Absolutely. No argument there. Darn tootin' straight shootin!
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