This is My Chair

This is my chair.

Go away and sit somewhere else.

This one is all my own.

It is the only thing in your house that I possess

And insist upon possessing.

Everything else therein is yours.

My dish,

My toys,

My basket,

My scratching post and my Ping-Pong ball;

You provided them for me.

This chair I selected for myself.

I like it,

It suits me.

You have the sofa,

The stuffed chair

And the footstool.

I don't go and sit on them do I?

Then why cannot you leave me mine,

And let us have no further argument?

Paul Gallico from the book The Great Cat -poems about cats, Everyman's Library Pocket Poets.

Eventful Night

Had an eventful night last night that started off with us taking the 'walk of shame' out of the pool since Baby Girl had some diarrhea. It was mostly in her swim suit, but the manager had to clean some off of the deck, too. We were required to leave, of course.

Got home and were enjoying a quiet evening on the back step. Brought Baby Girl some water in a purple cup and went inside for something. Next thing, I heard her shooing what I thought was a fly away. Then she screamed. Turns out there were yellow-jackets swarming. I went out to see what was going on, got stung on my second toe, figured out they were swarming, scooped up Baby Girl, and ran into the house.

She ended up with a sting on her left index finger and left cheek. She cried and cried. Poor Baby Girl. My toe sting STILL hurts. She did settle down while watching Lord of the Rings with Daddy.

Investigation this morning showed that the yellow jackets have a nest under the back step. I sprayed it, but will probably have to re-apply tonight. I thought maybe they were after the purple cup I had brought out.

OUCH!!! Those buggars hurt!!

Mommy is an Old, Old Woman

Talking to Baby Girl about death, since three of our tadpoles were discovered dead this afternoon*. I told her we would dump them out over the spot where Pooh-Bear Kitty was buried.

She asked, "When will I see Pooh-Bear again?"

I said, "When you go to heaven, you'll see Pooh-Bear."

She said, "When do I go to heaven?"

I said, "When you die."

She asked, "When will I die?"

I told her, "Not until you're an old, old woman."

Baby Girl then said, so very innocently "Like YOU, Mommy???"

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Kerrfunk got to hear the entire exchange and thought that I had the perfect set up for her to say that.

So, the story about the tadpoles....

*Came home from the swimming pool this afternoon to find all three of our remaining tadpoles having gone belly-up. Two of them were on the fast track to becoming frogs....they had all four legs already.

Not sure what the variable was that made them die. I changed their water within the last two days, using the same water procedure as I had been using. The house was (surprisingly) cool, so that wouldn't have been a factor. Don't think Rudy would've kilt them. And they had plenty of food. I suspect something with the water....

Bummer. We have one frog out of four tadpoles.

What'd You Say Your Name Is Again?

God's last name may not be 'Damn', but Jesus' middle name is Hallowed.

"Jesus H. Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's what the H. stands for!!

Pity Men and the Women Who Have to Handle Them

the following is an email response I sent to a friend and it's said with all due respect to my dear, sweet husband...who has been through 7.5 yrs. of training and gets closer to completion each day.

kerrfunk may not have told you yet, but he's one of the many born with a birth defect.....the Y chromosome!!!!!!!!!!!!

All men need assistance in this area that you so accurately describe: "but sometimes it feels like he is so difficult to communicate with and get through to.--due to his selective hearing and selective comprehension"

in reality, men are just different creatures than women. studies show that women use twice as many words as men througout a day. so, we're essentially bombarding men with our words...their 'feeble' minds can't keep up!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's how i like to think about it. and men (typically) just aren't on the same emotional wavelength as women. poor things.....

I get frustrated with GOD sometimes because men and women ARE so different. it's like a cruel joke!!! men reach their sexual peak at age 18...women in their 30s. WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE???!?!?! when one's ready, the other isn't!!!!!!!!!!! gee, thanks, god.

also, men's brains could be likened to waffles, while women's are like spaghetti. men are able to compartmentalize everything in their lives. keep everything separate, not let one thing interfere with another. women, on the other hand, have emotions running thru everything, everyday of their lives. one thing in life affects something else, so on and so on. for women, it's kinda like everything is intertwined. again, another cruel joke from GOD!!!!!

Handling men...it's a tough job, but women are strong enough to do it!!!!

Lounging on the Garbage Can

Need I say more?

Can my husband please back into my car?

i think i would LOVE that.

oh...wait.....he just did.

nice.

missed the front headlight, that's good. but put a nice dent above the wheel.

i told him that now everyone's gonna think i got into a bar fight and hit something with my car on the way home.

great.


And it gets even better....

The reason kerrfunk backed into my car was because he was going to the store...because he was hungry for chocolate. He was going to pick up a giant Hershey candy bar along with the other stuff on our list. Well, when he got home he said, "They didn't even have Moosetracks (ice cream)." I said, "So?? We've got some in the other freezer." He couldn't believe he forgot.

Then I asked, "What about the candybar? That's why you had to go to the store in the first place." He forgot all about getting a candybar.

After all that, he came home with Oreos and chocolate ice cream.

He thinks he'll eat the whole package of oreos. I told him that at this point, I don't blame him.

Nice. Very Nice.

Sometimes HE'S SUCH A WOMAN. I think we've got our roles reversed!!!!

4 Tadpoles

Raising four tadpoles.

No legs yet.

They eat boiled lettuce.

I think they'll survive as long as Rudy doesn't knock their bowl onto the floor.

Did I Mention That It's Hot Here?

Rudy decided that it's too hot to stand or sit while he eats. Paddington just plain crashed trying to find a cool spot!